Weird

One month. One month! When I think of how to describe that last month, I struggle to find the right words. Exciting, terrifying, weird are just a few that come to mind. Exciting and terrifying seem to be the more obvious, but weird might need a better explanation. The fact that I have been here a whole month already is weird. The time has flown by. The fact that two months ago, I didn't even know who this family was, also weird. The fact that I kinda just packed up and flew across the Atlantic on a whim... weird. Although I am sure I could search the thesaurus for a more descriptive or specific word, weird seems to fit just perfectly.

As I sat down to write this, I knew I wanted to write something, but I wasn't sure exactly what. Since the last update I posted, nothing life changing or necessarily blog-worthy has happened. My schedule has stayed the same, I've been making friends and trying new foods, but that's about it. So I decided to write a bit of reflection of the learning that has been happening since I have been here. Not only the obvious (Spanish and how to use the Metro), but the less superficial things. Since I have been here, I have learned so much about myself and about people in general. It's amazing what some time alone can show you.

Since the 4th grade I have been "learning" Spanish. I say "learning" because 4th and 5th grade consisted of a couple days a week rotated into our schedule of learning colors and numbers, 6th grade was only a third of the year while we explored other possibilities for the other two thirds (French and German weren't my thing), and 7th and 8th grade had an unusually high amount of Zumba lessons during class. Throughout high school, I really did start learning Spanish, trying to at least grasp the (what seemed like) thousands of different conjugations for each mood and tense. But once I got here, all of that seemed to get lost in the part of my brain where important things go to die. Memorizing vocabulary about travel and actually using it to navigate an airport are two very different things.

This brings me to the first thing that I have learned about people. My Spanish has definitely improved since I have been here. I've been taking lessons and talking in Spanish with my family and people in the city every day. But still, it can be a huge struggle sometimes to understand and be understood. However, I've come to realize that so much of what you say isn't about what you say, but how you say it. Even when the family is speaking in Catalan, I can almost understand what they're talking about simply by the tone they use. Joy and anger and sadness are conveyed so often through things other than words. If the family makes a joke that I can't understand, but begin to laugh so much that their bodies shake, I can't help but join in laughing, feeling that joy. Although a language barrier can be hard, the way you convey yourself can set the tone for the way you are perceived by others.

The biggest thing that I have learned about myself in the last month is how okay I am with being alone. Of course I enjoy being social, going out with friends here, or FaceTiming people from home, but I have come to realize how much I enjoy time by myself. Before I came here, I was, frankly, embarrassed to do things on my own. I didn't want to be seen eating by myself or wandering around alone. What would people think of the poor girl without any friends? Well, people don't care enough and probably don't think twice if they see me out on my own. Not only have I gotten over that barrier of self pride, but I have actually come to enjoy my own company very much. I like trying new things, riding the Metro, eating out by myself. I've found I'm a pretty cool person to be around.

Finally, something I've learned about myself and other people is that relationships take work. New relationships take work because if you don't continue to try to build that friendship, it's never going to go anywhere. Current and past relationships take work because if you don't continue to put effort into it, you'll see changes in the dynamic of it. Then again, there are those relationships where you can go months without talking and still know that person will be there when you need them. Being so far from everyone I'm used to being around has definitely put to the test my relationship skills and shown me how to be a better friend.

For those of you who have made it this far into the post, thanks for reading! I'm so lucky to have so many people who care to know what I'm doing. In ten days, I'm heading off to London for the weekend, so if anyone has suggestions on how to see the city in 2 1/2 days, let me know!

Much love,

Hannah